2021/10/01

異鄉人 L’Étranger

 

Cover of L'E'tranger
星期二的中午,終於可以去九龍中央圖書館一趟,每次經過也想入內,但總覺得沒有足夠時間的話,還是下次再去好了。其實,什麼才是足夠時間呢?完全視乎那間圖書館內的藏書有多豐富或是否適合我的口味罷了,今次,大約逗留了兩小時。

事實上在我手機中是有一張"要尋找的書目清單",因為生活空間所限,盡可能戒掉購買書籍的習慣(屢敗屢試:P),而在不想放棄享受紙本書的原則下,還是到圖書館搜索一下,雖然我很清楚,可以在網上訂購實體書,那便不用東奔西走了。而且,我發現在香港圖書館的藏書也頗過時,要到較大的一間才勉強找到一些合用的書本,這也是我不大喜歡用圖書館的原因之一。

好了,話說回來。原本要找的四本全部落空,其中一本找到了卻只有中文翻譯版,就是卡繆 Albert Camus 的異鄉人 L’Étranger。即使是翻譯書(例如:原文是非英語),可以選擇的話,我也會選英文而非中文翻譯,尤其台灣翻譯,看起來有點痛苦。但奈何,世事非盡如人意,每次在圖書館或書局內也只有看到這個中文版實體書,等了又等,今次決定借,即日看完,心中還是有些 50/50 的感覺。

這是一本出名的文學作品,正如你看到書面的介紹~存在主義代表作,諾貝爾文學得獎小説,二十世紀法國文學經典:不簡單的啊!

書中的主角莫梭先生(我想是有點卡繆的影子),由故事開頭,因為住在老人院的母親逝世而要前往守夜,沒有留下半滴眼淚,只想盡快回家倒頭大睡。翌日認識了新女友,還一起看笑片,沉醉愛海;及後的日子還會去安慰失了老狗的隣居,協助一個似乎不算藉得幫忙的雷蒙教訓他那紅杏出牆的女友,以至後來捲入命案,莫梭的"下半生"從此不再一樣!

短短142頁的故事,叫我印象最深刻的是莫梭時常會有的想法"這不是我的錯.…",他那時常遊走於現實與抽離的狀態,隨著他形容眼見與心中所想的種種。他不願意花半點氣力去解釋一些他認為沒有意義的事,甚至和自己性命猶關的事…又或者即使其他人覺得很重要的事;是刻意的自我抽離?還是荒謬的世界令他不得不抽離,只可以陶醉在自已享受的時刻,例如:吹吹海風,在夕陽下觀看區內途人的日常,和女友的快樂時光…。

無疑莫梭的故事隱含了不少可以衝擊我們思考的引子,尤其在末段,他被審訊期間的內心世界及與神父的一席話。但當晚我看完之後,就是那種一半一半的感覺,叫我返到廿一世紀的現實中,這會否也是我們這一代的心態呢?有一點無可無不可,反正我沒興趣明白你所想也沒需要要求你明白我一樣,故事就在這個狀態下終結。

我想…如果找到英文版,我會再看一次~這也是另外一個 50/ 50 的原因。

 

 
(麥田出版)譯者:張一喬 (台灣) 中文翻譯初版2009年9月 
異鄉人Copyright Editions Gallimard, Paris 1942
 
P.s. - Photo is the Chinese version from library.
         Book link is the English e-book version (The Stranger)

 

 

 

 

 

2021/09/25

A Promised Land



Finally completed the reading of this 700 pages book last night, you can see how it was being "tortured" by me :P even though it's a hardcover version, the book jacket was fragile. I've using almost 6 months to complete because I could only had time to read before bed, which was about 1 to 2 hours at most, sometimes it was really tired but this book is worth to spend time with. 

As far as I could remember when I saw it in a MTR book store, it attracted me by it's thick spine at once; there was only two copies up there on the very top of the shelving,  I grabbed it right away and decided to bring back home after reading the blurb. 

In this six months, I ran through a "tough journey" leading by the author, an unusual one, the 44thpresident of the United States, Mr. Barack Obama. A journey of how his “bet” make changes for his people; the barriers of partisan & pressure that had to be overcome; burden of duties deep inside, both his country & family…with strong & true beliefs of democracy, justice, hope, that could bring especially to the African Americans; a better future that could be built & the most important ~ love, that should have as a real human being…

It’s an extraordinary experience to know the routine & tremendous supporting team in White House, the wide scope of issues that he had to consider prior to make any decision that might affect the majority as well as the minority. But behind the scene, there were always had some lonely nights/ moments that Obama was struggled to give & take. 

There was a message I kept receiving throughout the book is , whenever he received a letter or a voice from a citizen/kid, a message of a missing pilot, a visit of an injured soldier or the 911 families…all these will once again reminding himself why to step into the government in his first place, reminding him of being a humble president, as well as a better person.

I have to say I did enjoy very much while reading this book, because it is not only a memoir of a president, or a record of what he did during his presidency. Obama didn’t hide the actual feeling of disappointment, anger or depress whenever he felt; compromise that had to be made most of the time for a bill to pass through, but at least, some achievement that benefit to the country could still be made.

What I do believe “Passion to become better” is the key and only when human don’t pretend themselves as God, “Yes we can!”

p.s.- I'm thinking, what a blessing for a country to have a president like Barack Obama. 

 
還記得在三月的ー個下午, 上完課回程途經美孚港鐵站内的書局, 毎次總會入内尋寳, 當天也不例外. 在書架最高處, 厚厚的書脊吸引着我, 原來是美國總統奥巴馬的 "A Promised Land". 我對政治算不得上有興趣, 但對自傳, 尤其是有視野和胸襟的人卻是例外. 幸好剛剛夠高 :D 於是一手取下先看封面及封底~ 相片拍得很美, 尤其是書背的ー張, 完全捕捉到作者的神緖和情懷,很喜歡. 再翻開書内看簡介, 看罷, 決定買下, 開始了這漫長而又期待的閲讀旅程.

我説是旅程, 真的, 在整整六個月的時日, 我總會在僅餘的睡前一至两小時, 翻開這本長達七百多頁的書本, 讓奥巴馬帶我遊走於他的政治旅途, 既艱辛卻又滿有意義和感恩. 事實上, 有時工作後實在疲倦, 但仍很想看一章, 或至少ー個段落, 因為很値得;在很多個晚上,藉着文章的內容,讓我覺得本來看似很絕望的世界,又再次浮現絲絲美善的盼望,得到不少安慰。

政治世界從來複雜多變,某程度上作者是憑着單純的初心,盼望可以激勵國民(人)去創建一個滿有公義、和平、平等的世界,一個更美好的將來,對非藉美國的公民/青少年的一代意義尤其重要。在龐大的白宮團隊支持之下,奧巴馬仍然必須經歷無數在民主社會下存在的國會投票,才能推動一些議案;即使要作出某些侷部的妥協,只要能對國民有利,他們還是會堅持行下去。在很多議案推行之前,作為總統的他,要考慮的事情及層面甚廣,從他敘述在白宮的日常可得知。其實除了背負著工作(國家)的重擔外,他在書中也不時提及對家人的一點點歉疚(也有對團隊,支持者及家人的無限感激),並自己在得失之下的感受…我想,就是這個第44任美國總統非常人性的一面,沒有刻意隱藏自己的軟弱。

書中提及在不少個無奈的晚上,奧巴馬獨自靜下來的時刻,他還是會因著收過一封市民的感謝信,聽過一個工人的故事,看見過一個非藉小孩的微笑;又或是在探訪傷兵/911 遇難者家屬,為着執行任務失而復得的機師⋯等等,等等而再次回想自己要進入政府工作的初心,為此,明天又會重新出發。

事實上這本書有太多太多內容,並非單單是一本回憶錄或工作報告。當我在閲讀到書本後期的時候,正藉美軍全面撤離阿富汗,塔利班重掌政權之際;有時在政治圈外的平民如我,腦中也會浮現大大小小的"為什麼?"消息傳出的那個晚上,我在書中找到一些事情始末的㾗跡。同時,又令我反思,要批評政府的決定不難,但又有多少次是在我們能夠明白個中的利害取捨才去作出真正公道的批判,甚或指控呢?

要持守創造更美好的世界這份熱誠,讓自己能成為一個更好的人,卻沒有因為掌握大權而扮演上帝,談何容易?

美國公民曾經有奧巴馬這一位總統,我想,是福氣。

 



D300 or D70s, how about iphone SE?

Photography can help us to freeze special moments, to retrieve the feeling of our emotion in a specific time; to capture the beauty that may be lost forever…or even more; that’s why I love to shoot. 

Nikon D300 camera with wide angle lens attached

It was a struggle moment when I packed my luggage for this trip, whether I should bring along with my Nikon D70s in a lighter weight? Or Nikon D300, much heavier but more full function, or…simply my iphone? 

Nikon D70s camera with VR 18-55 lens attached

A standard lens, a wide angle or a 18-55/f3.5 VR zoom…? I know this scenario is not strange to some of you, especially when the technology of the build-in camera improve sharply in these years; I wished I could have a mirror-less interchangeable lens cameras at that minute :P

Finally & fortunately I decided to bring along with D300 + 12-24/f1.2 + 18-70/f3.5 + iphone SE (1st generation). I’m an amateur in photography, they may seem a bit “old- fashion” compare with the modern gear, but they are my intimate companions since 2015, and this time, they brought me lots & lots of good memories for my Petit Paris series, thank you “pal”.

I rarely crop photo frame after shooting because it‘s my own training to frame seriously before press my shutter: a rule that I’d like to keep since the first day I was using filmed SLR camera. It‘s a lot more sensation when holding a camera instead of a phone, thus better photos as a result.  I don’t know why, may be I am stubborn I guess.

wide angle photo of sky & garden & a couple with kid in Paris
By D300 (ISO-200_f/10_1/125s)

In fact, a good quality wide angle is almost a must to capture the enormous breathtaking architecture, and those fascinating colour coverage on or below the sky. Truly speaking, this set of photo gear, to me, was a bit heavy for a long day walk; but I did carry them with me in 8 out of 12 days for a reason.

purple orange pink & peach blossom color flower bed in Paris
By iPhone SE (ISO25 f/2.2_1/276s)
On the other hand, iphone did works tremendously well that, I was a bit free of tension to keep an eye onto it compare with a camera, in terms of security issue, i.e.: free “float” to explore!

Paris is basically safe enough for solo trip, provided you have to avoid some treacherous zone at night; but hanging your camera around your neck is still not a good idea, especially for a tourist outside the tourist spots. So I had to put it back into my bag after every few shots which was inconvenience and that’s while a small iphone helped so much in these occasions. 

In my book, you may find some photo quality difference; 80% of the photos were taken by D300 and the rest by iphone especially 2 full days in Mortmartre and The Louvre. 

To maintain the atmospheric colour as close as to the true moment, I do minimize my post editing process to all my photos. They may not professional in some sense, they are what I saw in 95% real at that moment in that space. 

I am happy of what they are & I hope you will like them, too.

2021/09/19

Octopus

A bun with eyes and sausage that looks like an octopus

Sometimes life may be difficult, anything that happens can drag you down; job, friends, family, political environment, health, boyfriend, weather…whatever, whenever you are in a bad mood.

Me, too! But on the other hand, I have a special gift from God, I feel happy easily whenever I  see any ‘face’ without nose or even mouth, I am joyful with laughter. I don’t know why? may be they are just so cute? so true and direct? looks like simple-minded.

This morning when I finished my Sunday service, I went into a boulangerie and met this ‘Mr Octopus’ 章魚包,  original I thought it’s weird to have octopus filling inside a bun, but it seems ‘he’ really wanted me to bring him home, you see? his eyes :D , so I got him. When I put him onto my plate, I know I have to do something before ‘killing’ him, and this was the picture that I would like to dedicate to Mr Octopus for having fun with me in this rainy day without ‘Justice’!

Thank you for bring me joy, even it’s only for a while, you make me resume my energy and hope to carry on, tomorrow is another fresh new day :D

Oh! by the way, guess what is actually inside? I am 100% correct: A simple-minded of a few shredded cheese, that’s all :D




2021/09/18

地下鐵

地下鐵-幾米作品

早陣子,弟弟一口氣把數本幾米繪本送給我,雖然已經是有點兒殘舊,但對於喜歡他作品的我,還是內容最重要,難掩興奮的心情。(謝謝細佬:D)


地下鐵是一本頗早期的作品,或許比較出名的會是已經改篇了電影的向左走,向右走;但相比兩個故事,後者是都市戀人的尋尋覓覓…而這一本是如詩般訴說着一個盲女的感受,仍然滲出幾米淡淡哀愁的風格,只是今次,更深更重。

我認識兩位失明的好朋友,多少明白他們生活中的不便及不安,但由於他們是一對夫婦,所以始終可以互相扶持。他們一位是天生失明,丈夫則是後期因病失明,所以在對世界各種事物的認知和感受,也會有所不同。

故事中的女主角是屬於後者,所以在她的世界裏仍然看到色彩,但始終當只得一個獨自生活的時候,那種在都市人海裏的孤獨感還是來得特別強烈。當我(讀者)陪着她出出入入,上上落落地下鐵的時候,有一種和她一起尋尋覓覓和等待的共鳴;我想,是因為圖畫很美,文字正是她在心中的絮絮細語,彷彿在和我説話般!

看了很多頁,仍被哀愁籠罩着,還好到了其中一頁,文字是這樣寫的: 還好,守護天使一直眷顧著我。 下面一幅對頁是女孩坐在白天鵝背上,靜靜地在萍果綠色的湖水上蘯漾。水彩+粉彩般的効果如在霧中~全書最特別,也是我最喜歡的一幅圖畫。

另一幅深深吸引著我的,也是一個對頁,窗外黃昏彩霞映照入深沉的圖書閣,右邊窗台坐著女主角,文字是這樣寫的: 誰願意為我在黃昏的窗邊唸一首詩。坐在左邊窗台,是一直陪着她遊走的小狗。

或許我們會用失明者的心態去理解故事,但在看到後面,我同樣地發覺,即使是看得見這個世界的人,何嘗不曾在看似繁華耀眼的大都會中,某時某刻,同樣地感到孤單與無助?!

從來看幾米作品,也會被他營造的不真實感吸引,現實與幻想的事物,背後藏著作者、主角、或是要告訴讀者另外的一些情感,很容易讓我在不知不覺間進入故事中的世界;即使是短短的半小時,在回到現實中,心中已浮現了久被遺忘的人和事。

故事末後似乎有一個隱藏的結局⋯我想,留待你去發掘
 
地下鐵及月亮忘記了書面

2021/09/11

今年秋天⋯

A chinese poem with illustration & autumn leaf photo by Oiseau Distrait
十月秋色 ~ 小巴黎  P.6-7  (click to enlarge)
                                    

 
從來都覺得中文詩很難寫得好,也許是因為我的中文根底差,但又事實上覺得…要用白話文去表達詩人情懷的時候,很多時會變得"造作"。因此,我總覺得文言文的詩詞較為優美,也較能達到詩中有畫意;可惜,我的文言文更不堪,不得不佩服古人的學養。

最近,因着朋友的特別需要,把 Oiseau Distrait 的 Petit Paris 系列中,即將在十月出版的 Palette October  翻譯成中文,似散文多一點點的內容,還只能勉強把原文交代;我想,日後還是要花多些時間學習學習罷!

香港已經進入初秋,天氣還是十分酷熱,隨了早晚稍有微風的痕跡,其餘時間彷佛仍身處夏季。但是今年的秋天,應該會過得不太一樣,也許是我們和一些親朋在香港過的最後一個秋天。是今年或是明年…要離開的始終留不住,也許世界之大,總有可安身之處,亦用不著太過離愁別緒;只是,秋天嘛!還是容易令人傷感,但願,或去或留的人,繼續努力走下去!主祐地球人!


節錄自 小巴黎 ~ 十月秋色(非賣品中文初稿) 忘記鳥作品

我快要墮下⋯ 
願我能⋯即使已是放手的時刻 
很想,很想支撐多一刻  
即使多一秒 

但我將要墮下⋯
沒有動力可撐多一秒鐘

請讓我徐徐墮下
至少可以和他們一起
放下一段歲月⋯
一個卑微的心願

請別為我們哀傷
這並不是終結
當自由的微風再度吹起時
我們便會再次飄洋過海
在疾風中閃閃發亮
告訴世人,關於我們這一代的故事
一個勇敢的故事


From: Palette October ~Petit Paris Series by Oiseau Distrait
 
I am off, falling off...
If it's time to let go
I still want to hold
a second or so...
 
But I'm lost
without force...
to hold any more
 
Let me fall
at least together
with them all
for a season
that's all
 
Don't upset
it's not the end
we will fly when the wind comes by
scatter across the ocean
shining in motion
let everybody knows...this generation